Category Archive: Our Adoption

2014
10/28

Category:
Family
Our Adoption

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Fritzel Number 4 Updated

When I originally wrote our adoption story of Baeya I was so filled with excitement and joy that my post didn’t exactly come out the way I intended. So in honor of Baeya’s birthday and the weekend that made our lives SO MUCH MORE I thought I would do a better job of capturing the weekend Baeya was born, brought into our lives, and became part of us.

Nate, Owen, and I went to the OU/Texas Tech game on Saturday for our annual family rivalry game and had a great time minus a little rain, well… I had a great time;)
I left the game a little earlier than Nate to get Owen back to my brothers and in bed. While we were winding down; hanging out with my nephew, mom, and sister-in-law I got a call from our social worker. She wanted to let us know that they were showing our adoptive parent scrapbook page to a couple who had already had their baby. The baby was born the night before at 10:54 pm. I figured I would wait to tell Nate when he got back. This was the second time that we had received one of these phone calls. Obviously we were not chosen the first time so I didn’t feel in too big of a rush to share the anxiety-inducing news with Nate.

Exactly one hour later at 8:20 p.m. we got another call from the social worker, and my heart about leapt out of my chest. Let me just say that when you are not chosen you definitely don’t get a callback an hour later telling you the bad news. I ran into the other room to speak with her in private. Meanwhile my sister-in-law and mother had caught on pretty quickly that something big was happening. I was then told that the birthmother and birthfather had CHOSEN US. WE HAD ONLY BEEN WAITING THREE WEEKS! They told us to expect 18-24 months. This had nothing to do with Nate and I and everything to do with God’s timing. Nudging us the whole way, and we barely made it.

Our social worker was telling me about the risk involved which can include things like if the baby has Native American blood and of course the potential of the birthparents changing their minds before relinquishing their rights etc.  I was just sitting on the bed with my mouth open trying so hard to hear what she was saying, except all I could think was, I may have a daughter out there right now. Nate luckily walked in about 1 minute after I got off the phone.

Telling Nate that we were selected to adopt a baby girl was pretty overwhelming. I could barely get it out without bursting into tears. There were a few more conversations with the social worker over the phone, once Nate was in the know, and an email sent with some more information about the birth family. By the time we had read and discussed everything it was 10 pm. We then had to decide when we were leaving for Beaumont.

Owen had still yet to go to sleep due to the craziness and we contemplated just putting him in the car but decided against it. And thank goodness we did because when we “woke” at 6:20 a.m. Owen was coughing the bark cough. Like the kind that tells you, this baby is SICK. By the way, I put “woke” in quotes because I am sure you can imagine how much we slept knowing that we were about to be united with our soon to be second child. So we put Owen in the car and headed home making lots of phones calls and “googling” the whole way. Thank goodness for smart phones!

We learned that Beaumont is a 6 hr drive from home. I also made Owen an appt. that morning in Keller at an urgent care for kids, and spoke with Nate’s mom about potentially keeping him for us. We ran home pulled out every attic box in order to find newborn clothes, bottles, burp cloths, blankets, car seat, and anything else we could think of and were able to get a load of baby laundry done.

We ended up leaving Owen in Ft. Worth because the doctor thought it was best. Paula (Nate’s mom) came to get Owen and we packed up the car and headed to the airport. When we landed there were a several  issues that we encountered. The first obstacle was getting a rental car. Not one place in Beaumont rented cars on Sunday. We had setup a rental car for the airport we were flying into but mid flight we realized there was a much closer airport and we flew into that one. (BTW-Nate’s dad has his private pilots license and has a plane for his company. We wanted to get down there as quickly as possible so he graciously flew us and stayed with us there throughout the adoption process.) So when we got to the new airport we realized that they did not have rental cars available. We ended up taking a cab to the hotel, but on the way to the hotel realized that Nate had booked the wrong hotel on accident. Which meant that we weren’t within walking distance to the hospital like originally hoped.

By this time it was a Sunday at about 3 o’clock and baby girl was born Friday night. I was pretty much frantic to get to the baby, but we then found out that the hospital would not allow us to hold or see the baby unless the birthmother was present. The problem was the birthmother had checked out of the hospital the day before and lived in another town about 30 mins away. So our social worker had called and asked the birthmother to meet us at the hospital and came and picked us up from our farther away hotel. (Thank goodness for those Social Workers;) She took us to the hospital where we were able to meet birthmom and birth gma. We were then able to hold the baby for 2 hours while we got to know the birth family. They are wonderful people!

After having to say goodbye that night we were to meet up at Buckner’s office the following day at 11 to sign the paperwork and take sweet baby home. We walked to a rental car place the next morning and were able to go to Walmart and buy some formula and a couple of clothing items before heading to the adoption agency. Unfortunately due to problems with the hospital, the social worker wasn’t able to check baby out without the birthmother which didn’t get done until 3:30pm. We had waited all day to see her and were overjoyed when they finally walked her through the doors. We also had a few other hurdles with photo id’s and notary publics so the paperwork finally was signed at about 6:30 pm. We weren’t too upset waiting at this point due to the adorable baby girl we got to hold the whole time. After the paperwork was signed we did the entrustment ceremony and shed many tears together. Baby Girl’s birthparents were there and able to say goodbye (for now). They had named sweet baby girl Hope which seemed very fitting to all of us. Nate had come up with the top three baby names with Baeya being the favored. After speaking with the birthparents and seeing their reaction to the name Baeya, it was a done deal. We had to spend another night due to the craziness of last night, so we are on the plane headed home now. Can’t wait to introduce little Baeya to her big brother Owen. I should also say that I am forever greatful to my wonderful father-in-law who flew us down there and experienced all the ups and downs with us along with my mother-in-law, mother, and sister who took good care of big brother Owen anxiously waiting on news the whole time.

So welcome home Fritzel number 4, we have been faithfully awaiting your arrival;) God is so Good!

Hope: the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.

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2nd Annual Cornholers for Adoption

If you have been friends/acquaintances with Nate and I for the past 15 months, you know that

A) We adopted our smart, independent daughter, Baeya Hope, last year

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and B) one way we were able to do that is through a fundraiser that we had in June of 2013 that we loving call Cornholers for Adoption.
Obviously adoption is close to our hearts and when we came up with the fundraiser idea we wanted it to not only benefit our situation at the time but to hopefully benefit other families in the future.
Our very good friends, Rob and Caroline Carmack, have decided to adopt also through Buckner and are allowing us the opportunity to host a 2nd Annual Cornholers for Adoption fundraiser for their sweet growing family. If you don’t already know them here is a link to their Go Fund Me page. You can also learn more about them on Rob’s blog. Sweet Caroline Boutique is Caroline’s adorable etsy shop to help raise money for the adoption as well.

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We learned a lot from last years fundraiser number one being, June may be a little hot to have a cornhole tournament in a airplane hangar without air conditioning. So the tournament will be Saturday, October 4. This is a family friendly event where we hope to have amateur cornholers up to the league attending diehard cornholers, such as my husband. Please do not feel intimidated, there will be different brackets for different levels of players to win, yes there is prize money:) We will be raffling off lots of goodies and will have some kid friendly activities. We will also have plenty of opportunity to buy food throughout the day (another thing we learned the hard way). If you have never played cornhole or unsure of the rules please watch this you tube video.

So please mark your calendars and find a partner (or we can find you one)! You will not want to miss out, here are some pics from last year.
If you have any potential raffle items to donate or a spare bounce house we could use please let Caroline or myself know. Hope to see you there!

2014
06/06

Category:
Our Adoption

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Visiting Baeya’s Birthparents

This past weekend we headed down to Beaumont, TX to visit Baeya’s birthparents. I haven’t spoken a lot about them because I want to respect their privacy, but also did not want to miss this opportunity to share with everyone what open adoption can look like. I haven’t spoken a ton about open adoption either except on a few blogs including, A Letter to the Birthparents, Adoption Seminar, and Fritzel Number 4. Basically my relationship with Baeya’s birthparents have been primarily via text message. We speak weekly for the most part and its mainly updating on our lives and pictures. I want Baeya to have the opportunity to tell her own story to whomever she wants so I will just say that her birthparents are happily together with a son. He looks and sounds just like Baeya! Such a cutie!

We spent time with Baeya’s birthparents, paternal birth grandmother, and brother on Saturday. I have honestly been waiting for the jealousy to rear its ugly head, but I am very happy to say, it never did! At least not yet. Seeing Baeya’s birthmother hug and kiss on her and tell her how much she missed her was emotional and beautiful. I am so happy that we are apart of each others lives. I have thought about this day for 7 months. Baeya was her adorably dimpled self and definitely acted very comfortable with them if she didn’t recognize them. We got some pictures and had a great time meeting her other brother.  We left Beaumont feeling positive about the future. The fact that Baeya can call them up anytime or visit. The fact that she has them in her life to explain why they made this hard decision, that they love her and always will, and other important things like medical information. Adoption is never going to be easy on any child but at least I can feel comfortable knowing she will have answers to questions that other children of adoption may never find.

So far this open adoption experience has been a very positive one. I can’t wait to continue getting to know Baeya’s birthparents. They are wonderful people and we are so blessed to have them in our lives.

 

 

 

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2014
05/19

Category:
Family
Our Adoption

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Adoption Day

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I previously shared with everyone in a blog, Baeya’a “Official” Adoption Day that we were headed to the courthouse in Dallas to finalize Baeya’s adoption. Thought I should do a follow-up to let y’all know how things went.

We arrived at the courthouse to meet our attorney that the adoption agency had recommended. When we went into the courtroom the judge entered a few minutes later. He asked everyone to stand and swear that we would all tell the truth. There were several other families there for adoption hearings and more. We were the first to be called up by the judge. Our attorney asked what Nate’s full name was and then proceeded to ask several questions to which Nate answered yes and no. The questions included odd things like, “Do you understand that Baeya will be apart of your family for the rest of your lives?” Ummm. Yea, I think we’ve got that part. And other questions like, ” Have you completed a home study with your adoption agency and passed?” Check. When Nate finished answering the questions, our attorney asked me my full name and if I agreed with all the answers that Nate had given. Once that was over the judge ruled that we were a family and came off the bench to get a pic with us, which was nice and we were told doesn’t always happen.

So now…We are done. Done with seminars, trainings, book reports (yes, this happened), social worker visits (even though we loved her dearly), support groups, doctor reports, and monthly reports. Lucky for us, we have several friends that have adopted and will continue to be as much apart of the adoption community as we can. I believe that adoption is one of the most beautiful physical representations of God’s love and hope that our story, Baeya’s story, will continue to encourage others to consider open adoption and orphan care. Here are some pictures taken by my very dear friend Caroline, who was very brave and brought her camera to the court when we were told it wasn’t allowed. Turns out security let her right through after making her take everything out of her camera bag! She is an amazing birth photographer so just in case you are interested and/or would like to see more of her amazing photographs check out http://www.carolinecarmackblog.com/.

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I completely forgot to give credit to my other wonderful friend Elizabeth who took the Easter pictures that were on Baeya’s “Official” Adoption Day and did an awesome job of capturing Owen and Baeya’s personalities. You can check her out on facebook at Simply E3 Photography and Design.

2014
05/02

Category:
Family
Our Adoption

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Baeya’s “Official” Adoption Day

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There are things that, like anyone, I thought would definitely happen in my life as I grew up. For example, when I was little I thought I would marry my high school sweetheart (thanks mom and dad), sorry, probably a bad example since this happened, but most of my “plans” for the future changed dramatically during high school and college. Except one thing that was a constant from the time I was little. I wanted to be an adoptive mother. I have written before that this has been something on my heart for many many years. I thought about what it would look like, I thought about the process, and I thought about the kid(s) over and over. Now, today, “officially” I become Baeya’s mom. I have loved every second of the last six months and never considered that Baeya was not “officially” my daughter. In case you haven’t read our story, here is it, Fritzel Number 4

As soon as her birthmother handed Baeya to me and said, “here is your daughter”, that was it. Game over, she was a Fritzel.

Nate and I were talking about how strange it is that we are going to see a judge, who has never met us, so he/she can tell us that we are a family. I mean seriously, that’s old news, haven’t they been reading my blog?! JK. Either way, don’t give Nate and I any reason to celebrate because you know we are going to take you up on it. So we are celebrating God’s perfect plan, connecting us with our ridiculously wonderful daughter and of course, being a family of 4.
I also want to highlight a few milestones in Baeya’s life. She turned 6 months last Friday, went to Disneyland, started eating food 3 weeks ago, and started sitting up 2 days ago (she may still be a bit propped but it still counts). Things I adore about her: she’s stubborn, she has the best laugh, she adores her brother (this is completely mutual), I can tell she’s super smart, and I hate to bring in looks but I mean come on, with those dimples!

I am sure I will post again after our adoption day is done, but until then here are some pics.IMG_8757IMG_8787

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