My husband, if ever asked what my “issues” are, would probably say being stubborn and a picky eater (He used to say I eat like a 2nd grader). I have recently decided that your family and old friends are the worst at locking you into a place that you can’t get out of. I do it too, I think everyone does to a certain extent. I feel completely different now then when I was a teenager. I can’t even begin to explain the differences from then and now. I probably still might be considered a picky eater but compared to my jr. high self I have grown immensely (Nate Fritzel;). And btw-I would not list either one of these as a personal issue.
But my issues are starting to show, with a flashing arrow these days and it’s flashing at my kid, what an eye opener that is. (Insert eye roll and head shake here) Luckily Baeya is not there yet, but I’m sure it’s coming. Poor kids. I tend to have a lot of…we’ll call it “passion” for things. And Owen is proving to be a pretty passionate kid. We potty trained recently and were doing really good until last week. Apparently he only wants me to take him potty these days. He did not go to the bathroom all day yesterday at school. I dropped him off at 9 and picked him up at 2. I am hoping this is a passing phase. Ok ok my “passion” might be the same issue that Nate calls “stubborn”.
Back to this issues part…
After working at a mental health hospital, and the holidays spent with family, I am starting to think about how difficult it is to change a person’s views about you. Even though I feel like I am a completely different person from childhood to now; if I am around my brother, sister, and parents, I can go back to that old self in about 2.8 seconds. You just fall into old habits so easily. Social Work is a lot of working with people to help them change behaviors that they want to change. It seems daunting at first but once there is a change established it turns into “doable” until… You go back to the old rituals. Your living space, your family, old friends, job, etc. In a lot of cases those people may encourage the old behavior because that is familiar, or in some cases, they just expect it. I never make new years resolutions. I find that if I were to make a big declaration I would never follow through, but I am pressing on for minor changes. I know that any goal I have for myself is nothing compared to God’s goal for me. I am apart of a new bible study that started last week. This is one of the passages that I read.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brother and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-15
Little by little we can whittle away those views of us, even though I know I shouldn’t care, I want others to see the “updated” version of me. I want others to see the person I have become and not the younger version of me. (Although I wouldn’t mind looking like the younger version;)
Talking to the awesome women in my bible study we were discussing how the old issues start creeping up and how hard it is not to look back or resort to old ways but no declarations from me. I will continue on and hopefully the “positive” days will outnumber the “old issue” days. We’ll see.