2013
07/08

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Personal

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Anything

Recently I was discussing a book with some friends in a bible study that I am in at my church.  The book is called Anything by Jennie Allen.  There is a national study currently with this book and I am so glad that I am able to be apart of it. The basis of the book is would you do ANYTHING for GOD? I don’t know if I am to that point or not. I  would LIKE to think that I am willing to do ANYTHING as I continue to grow in my relationship with Christ, but I also feel that ANYTHING is a place that I am not sure I have really gone.  There is a song I used to sing a lot as a teenager in church.  The lyrics are Lord my desire is to be like you. Say the things you say, do the things you do. Oh let me hear your still voice through all the other noise. So that I can be, just what you want me to be. This song has been on repeat in my head for the past several weeks. I think this explains exactly where I am right now. I want to be the person that I am meant to be but for some reason I can’t seem to hear through all the other noise, to find out who that person is. I would say that adoption was something that was driven by God for me, but I have had a passion for adoption for many years, at least since middle school. God clearly knows how stubborn I am and that I needed many years to prep for adoption. I often wonder about the decisions that I am making currently. Such as, should I be working at a mental health hospital this fall, is Owen ready for me to go back to work, am I being selfish by being in graduate school right now. Don’t get me wrong I prayed about all these things before making any decisions, but then I wonder, did I actually wait for an answer? So again I just keep saying, Let me hear your still voice through all the other noise. So that I can be, just what you want me to be.

 

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